ees. In fact, it seems that over the years I have heard more about the male owner's sex life than about his
sharing owners must be running their enterprises on the illegal edge, in the black versus the gray area; or
maybe their operations are deeply in debt or make huge sums of cash, and they don't want others to know
that concealing it makes them more powerful and mighty.
Money tops the list of un-touchable topics. This kingpin subject encompasses the areas of parent and busi-
ness net worth, amount of financial security needed for parents' retirement, compensation levels for family
and relatives working in the business, perks, benefits and how we arrive at those levels, what is a share of
stock worth and who can own them, and what rewards are typical for an owner. Estate Planning includes
such documents as wills, trusts, insurance, etc. Most parents we know are of the belief that heirs are not to
find out what their "death planning" documents say before they are dead. To reveal such information is not
part of the family tradition, and if an adult child was armed with the secret wishes of a will/trust, they may
never work again. Additionally, most family members do not want to discuss death and dying, period. Fam-
ily Conflict and the reason for such disharmony are often swept under the rug with the hopes it will go
away with time. Unfortunately, it is normal for the problem to fester, grow, and become a severe situation
that begs for outside professionals to address. Which relatives can join the business? How do we de-
termine who can join the family business, under what circumstances and preparation, titles, authority, and
what if it doesn't work out and the person is asked to leave? Choosing the Next Leadership Model and
who will be President. How is the next president of the company chosen, trained and evaluated and by
Family Members' Responsibility to Another in the event of poor health, divorce, hard times or legal
problems.
he is truly undermining his own goals if he/she wants to pass the company to the heirs. Keeping secrets
sends the message to the key family members that you do not trust them. How can the active children learn
the business without access to full information about the company, budgeting, cost control, and a full under-
standing of the financial situation? How would an active or non-active child be able to make life time career
plans if they are not allowed to understand the value of the business and what to expect in terms of a finan-
cial return over time? If a son or daughter were to lose motivation or their drive to work because they have
found out the firm is a real "money machine," then it is better to find out early than wait until they have con-
trol and possibly lose the entire operation.
It certainly depends upon the maturity level of your children regarding how and when you will communicate
to them, but as soon as it is determined they can handle money and private information, sharing company
The Un-Touchable Topics